the wounds inside are hard to heal
but when we stand beside our childs crib
then the hurts seem to fall away
I always want to hold your hand
please hold mine for ever too
the skin outside is hiding more than
the organs that feel and do
if you smile then I touch your soul
I always want to hold your hand
please hold mine for ever too
lessons are there to be learnt
even when the message is hard
I try never to hate those who teach
I always want to hold your hand
please hold mine for ever too
it is important to me to be true
some people never learn to resist
the easy path to betrayel and mistrust
I always want to hold your hand
please hold mine for ever too.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Thursday, June 21, 2007
shopping
You push the shopping cart,
and I watch your easy slow stride.
Reaching out, cornflour, beef jerky,
and wild rice, with porcini mushrooms:
tossed into the cart, like a salad.
At one point you reach for my arm
and stroke the inner fleshy part.
I feel that sexiness that comes
from wanting you.
Your arms fold me into you
like a warm towel after a shower.
We kiss down the aisle
where I can see the pepered tuna
and tinned artichokes.
I steal a white grape
as you squeeze my shoulder,
waiting to pay.
Then loading the goodies Save Now
into the back of your motor,
as I climb in and
struggle with the weight
of our unborn child.
You reach over and kiss me,
and I think
this is how it will always be.
No kisses
were as loving
ever again.
and I watch your easy slow stride.
Reaching out, cornflour, beef jerky,
and wild rice, with porcini mushrooms:
tossed into the cart, like a salad.
At one point you reach for my arm
and stroke the inner fleshy part.
I feel that sexiness that comes
from wanting you.
Your arms fold me into you
like a warm towel after a shower.
We kiss down the aisle
where I can see the pepered tuna
and tinned artichokes.
I steal a white grape
as you squeeze my shoulder,
waiting to pay.
Then loading the goodies Save Now
into the back of your motor,
as I climb in and
struggle with the weight
of our unborn child.
You reach over and kiss me,
and I think
this is how it will always be.
No kisses
were as loving
ever again.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
pnce and again
once again you kissed me
you know I wanted to be kissed
so you kissed me
thankyou
once again you wanted me
you know I wanted to be wanted
so you let me know
you felt it too
once again
again and again
I asked you once again
you said 'yes, it is true'.
I smiled,
I had always known.
It could be only you,
back once again,
I smile.
you know I wanted to be kissed
so you kissed me
thankyou
once again you wanted me
you know I wanted to be wanted
so you let me know
you felt it too
once again
again and again
I asked you once again
you said 'yes, it is true'.
I smiled,
I had always known.
It could be only you,
back once again,
I smile.
wishin'
I am sitting in McSorleys
old ale house,
and you are propping up the bar
waiting for the beers.
you carry them over to us
and I ask for your pen.
I scribble the details of the man
I have met,
before I forget them.
I am thinking of his muscular torso
all the time that you look at me.
His powerful hands crossed
remind me of his strength.
I keeping thinking of him
and wanting him.
You are talking,
and I am looking past you.
What is he doing now I wonder?
You dont seem to care
even though you say you are trying to.
I see the woman you were
with these past years
in your eyes even now.
I cant stop thinking of him,
and I suppose
we are the same
you and I.
Are we too far
down this road
to make it work now?
I am staring at the tiled floor
and wondering what to do.
You are wearing that ring
I gave you
on your pinkie.
I have taken all my rings
from you
off my fingers.
You notice
- take my hand
and kiss my ring finger.
Yes I will wear my wedding ring again -
but not quickly.
The man at the bar
alone
has wide hips,
as wide as mine.
I see him turn to smile at me,
and I return his look.
He wants me,
but I love you
yetdesire another.
We leave there
and start up the street
passing others less confused.
Wishin' we could start over
but knowkng
too much has passed before.
old ale house,
and you are propping up the bar
waiting for the beers.
you carry them over to us
and I ask for your pen.
I scribble the details of the man
I have met,
before I forget them.
I am thinking of his muscular torso
all the time that you look at me.
His powerful hands crossed
remind me of his strength.
I keeping thinking of him
and wanting him.
You are talking,
and I am looking past you.
What is he doing now I wonder?
You dont seem to care
even though you say you are trying to.
I see the woman you were
with these past years
in your eyes even now.
I cant stop thinking of him,
and I suppose
we are the same
you and I.
Are we too far
down this road
to make it work now?
I am staring at the tiled floor
and wondering what to do.
You are wearing that ring
I gave you
on your pinkie.
I have taken all my rings
from you
off my fingers.
You notice
- take my hand
and kiss my ring finger.
Yes I will wear my wedding ring again -
but not quickly.
The man at the bar
alone
has wide hips,
as wide as mine.
I see him turn to smile at me,
and I return his look.
He wants me,
but I love you
yetdesire another.
We leave there
and start up the street
passing others less confused.
Wishin' we could start over
but knowkng
too much has passed before.
full circle
I was solemn
when you said bye bye
I was feeling guilty
because it had to be my fault.
we came full circle,
and here we are.
There was a time delay
for a moment
you were still a part of me.
I prepared myself
for those final goodbyes,
we came full circle.
you contributed to the pain,
I caused most of it.
You were stunned,
I was stunned
but it made no difference.
tears fell again and again,
over me and over you.
we were mismatched -
I knew it from the start,
we came full circle.
Every day was the same,
I was angry,
you were avoding me.
Every day was the same
I was accusing you,
and you would not defend you.
All those wonderful experiences
we shared
gone suddenly,
we came full circle.
Sweet nuthin's
that you whispered to me
I still remmebered.
You remmebered
only the parts
that suited you.
Where is the closure,
where is it?
I never felt
or found it,
we came full circle,
but you seemed
to have so easily.
Lying in her arms,
where you are now,
I feel sick thinking of it.
But what difference does it make,
I cant bring you back.
You will always be the same,
wherever you are,
never changing.
I dont trust you anymore,
we cant change things.
it was inevitable,
we came full circle,
it was hopeless,
it was finished.
when you said bye bye
I was feeling guilty
because it had to be my fault.
we came full circle,
and here we are.
There was a time delay
for a moment
you were still a part of me.
I prepared myself
for those final goodbyes,
we came full circle.
you contributed to the pain,
I caused most of it.
You were stunned,
I was stunned
but it made no difference.
tears fell again and again,
over me and over you.
we were mismatched -
I knew it from the start,
we came full circle.
Every day was the same,
I was angry,
you were avoding me.
Every day was the same
I was accusing you,
and you would not defend you.
All those wonderful experiences
we shared
gone suddenly,
we came full circle.
Sweet nuthin's
that you whispered to me
I still remmebered.
You remmebered
only the parts
that suited you.
Where is the closure,
where is it?
I never felt
or found it,
we came full circle,
but you seemed
to have so easily.
Lying in her arms,
where you are now,
I feel sick thinking of it.
But what difference does it make,
I cant bring you back.
You will always be the same,
wherever you are,
never changing.
I dont trust you anymore,
we cant change things.
it was inevitable,
we came full circle,
it was hopeless,
it was finished.
in a moment
In a moment, you threw it away.
Like the toys you tossed aside
to reach for your keys when you left.
Like the quick look you gave me,
as I watched you make that last call.
I knew I had to get myself together again,
and stop bubbling inside with emotions.
Pure anger, confusion and the thoughts that confused me.
I wanted to tell you all this but you were gone.
I looked around for the childs socks,
and knew you had taken one by mistake.
I looked around for my lipstick
and found that the lid was crushed under your leaving foot.
I can't leave the kids, even if you can.
I see your aftershaves are missing,
she will enjoy your smell as I did.
I put away the laundry knowing,
this will be the last time for you.
I fold, I iron, and I feed the kids,
whose faces remind me of you forever.
I finally lay down in the bed that you left,
and look up at the ceiling alone.
Like the toys you tossed aside
to reach for your keys when you left.
Like the quick look you gave me,
as I watched you make that last call.
I knew I had to get myself together again,
and stop bubbling inside with emotions.
Pure anger, confusion and the thoughts that confused me.
I wanted to tell you all this but you were gone.
I looked around for the childs socks,
and knew you had taken one by mistake.
I looked around for my lipstick
and found that the lid was crushed under your leaving foot.
I can't leave the kids, even if you can.
I see your aftershaves are missing,
she will enjoy your smell as I did.
I put away the laundry knowing,
this will be the last time for you.
I fold, I iron, and I feed the kids,
whose faces remind me of you forever.
I finally lay down in the bed that you left,
and look up at the ceiling alone.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
piano plays
I watched a man play a music scale
the piano was off key
he seemed to be alone inside
I watched his eyes glance over it,
he looked up at me and we smiled.
I pushed my plate away and frowned.
Why did yu decide today to leave me.
I watched the beautiful couple,
as they danced around together,
she glanced over to me and smiled.
I envied their mutual love.
Can I ever find the same myself.
When it was there, i threw it away.
I don't blame you for not wanting me.
I find the words seem to hurt me,
words that find their voice inside.
Remember that restaurant we went to,
and you tipped so generously,
I held your hand really tightly,
you kissed my forehead softly.
I looked into your eyes and laughed.
Now here you are, not showing up.
I am looking nervously around,
others are looking back at me.
Will I think back to this evening,
and wonder how I could have survived?
I know it isn't going to be easy,
I tell myself I am better off now.
Why did it go wrong, I ask myself,
you didnt love me, I said aloud,
you never gave us a chance,
You quit somehow so quickly.
The music from the piano is bliss,
I want to laugh but instead I cry,
somewhere, you are with a new girl,
forgetting me and it hurts me,
knowing that we broke ups so painfully.
The pianist is leaving now,
he nods at me and smiles softly.
I want to leave with any stranger,
who might desire me as you did.
I hesitate, and choose loneliness.
the piano was off key
he seemed to be alone inside
I watched his eyes glance over it,
he looked up at me and we smiled.
I pushed my plate away and frowned.
Why did yu decide today to leave me.
I watched the beautiful couple,
as they danced around together,
she glanced over to me and smiled.
I envied their mutual love.
Can I ever find the same myself.
When it was there, i threw it away.
I don't blame you for not wanting me.
I find the words seem to hurt me,
words that find their voice inside.
Remember that restaurant we went to,
and you tipped so generously,
I held your hand really tightly,
you kissed my forehead softly.
I looked into your eyes and laughed.
Now here you are, not showing up.
I am looking nervously around,
others are looking back at me.
Will I think back to this evening,
and wonder how I could have survived?
I know it isn't going to be easy,
I tell myself I am better off now.
Why did it go wrong, I ask myself,
you didnt love me, I said aloud,
you never gave us a chance,
You quit somehow so quickly.
The music from the piano is bliss,
I want to laugh but instead I cry,
somewhere, you are with a new girl,
forgetting me and it hurts me,
knowing that we broke ups so painfully.
The pianist is leaving now,
he nods at me and smiles softly.
I want to leave with any stranger,
who might desire me as you did.
I hesitate, and choose loneliness.
alone
today I knew as I knew all week
that you wanted to finish it
i couldnt find the words to say
what it meant to me to know this
i cried inside all day, all night
even in my dreams i was lost
what does it matter, i was always
so alone
fractured promises are broken now
i cant stop weeping over you
you wont worry, you dont care
only guilt keeps you with me
what can I do to change things?
I ask this question all the time
what does it matter, i was always
so alone
who were you all along
didnt you know this is how
you would let it end
you know it, i hoped not
you never tried, not at all
I was tired from trying
what does it matter, i was always
so alone
when I watch my lonely shadow
it stretches out to hug yours
but yours is so far away
and has its back to me
everything is empty
even my heart
what does it matter, i was always
so alone
that you wanted to finish it
i couldnt find the words to say
what it meant to me to know this
i cried inside all day, all night
even in my dreams i was lost
what does it matter, i was always
so alone
fractured promises are broken now
i cant stop weeping over you
you wont worry, you dont care
only guilt keeps you with me
what can I do to change things?
I ask this question all the time
what does it matter, i was always
so alone
who were you all along
didnt you know this is how
you would let it end
you know it, i hoped not
you never tried, not at all
I was tired from trying
what does it matter, i was always
so alone
when I watch my lonely shadow
it stretches out to hug yours
but yours is so far away
and has its back to me
everything is empty
even my heart
what does it matter, i was always
so alone
say goodbye
go on say goodbye
you know you want to
what do you care
how much it will hurt me
go on just walk away
pretend I never existed
just act strong
I will too.
go on leave me quickly
don't make it easy for me
tell yourself this is better
dont stay and work it out
just go and find
someone else to forget me
just act strong
I will too
go on be with her
she who knows you not
who you will never
let inside you
whilst we both die
a little inside ourselves
just act strong
I will too
you know you want to
what do you care
how much it will hurt me
go on just walk away
pretend I never existed
just act strong
I will too.
go on leave me quickly
don't make it easy for me
tell yourself this is better
dont stay and work it out
just go and find
someone else to forget me
just act strong
I will too
go on be with her
she who knows you not
who you will never
let inside you
whilst we both die
a little inside ourselves
just act strong
I will too
laughing
you were so funny
all the time
finding a joke
to mask your tears
your awkwardness
your mislaid fears.
you were so lazy
all the time
finding no way
to make it to me
your akwardness
your mislaid fears
you were so rare,
all the time
finding nothing
to hold onto
your awkwardness
your mislaid fears
all the time
finding a joke
to mask your tears
your awkwardness
your mislaid fears.
you were so lazy
all the time
finding no way
to make it to me
your akwardness
your mislaid fears
you were so rare,
all the time
finding nothing
to hold onto
your awkwardness
your mislaid fears
Monday, June 18, 2007
feeling we are parting
i feel we are parting I feel we are parting,
blue dreams wrapped in gold.
the fact is that it is a cauldron of emotions
I look for advice on how to get by
needless, of any growth inside me,
lacy curtains hide my eyes behind them.
even my common sense is needless.
I feel wellbeing is hopeless.
I can smell the fresh cotton shirt I iron.
Yet there are places I can escape to.
If only you would reveal to me
I would always pay heed.
A bite of an apple reminds me of the fall.
On the one side there is my family,
yet I feel weak in reaching my dreams,
and inside I conceal how deep I feel
for you.
Green and red ribbons unravel,
around a gift for you, you wont get.
A love that is binding but hurts.
I throw out dried daffodils today.
It is true that it was a fantasy,
I didn't need to finish it but I did.
I could almost taste you.
I was faking being happy for so long,
because I was such a fraud in love,
yet we were strong together and fresh,
always new, and full of surprises.
Yet being alone was unchanging.
Whilst, common sense was changing
for the better.
blue dreams wrapped in gold.
the fact is that it is a cauldron of emotions
I look for advice on how to get by
needless, of any growth inside me,
lacy curtains hide my eyes behind them.
even my common sense is needless.
I feel wellbeing is hopeless.
I can smell the fresh cotton shirt I iron.
Yet there are places I can escape to.
If only you would reveal to me
I would always pay heed.
A bite of an apple reminds me of the fall.
On the one side there is my family,
yet I feel weak in reaching my dreams,
and inside I conceal how deep I feel
for you.
Green and red ribbons unravel,
around a gift for you, you wont get.
A love that is binding but hurts.
I throw out dried daffodils today.
It is true that it was a fantasy,
I didn't need to finish it but I did.
I could almost taste you.
I was faking being happy for so long,
because I was such a fraud in love,
yet we were strong together and fresh,
always new, and full of surprises.
Yet being alone was unchanging.
Whilst, common sense was changing
for the better.
something inside
Something inside me
something inside me is aching
aching for you to be inside of me
something is inside of me
it isnt you but it should be
something inside of me is part of you
it is your touch that I feel inside of me
something about you is real
it is that realness that is a part of me
something you did felt like steel cut into me
something I did meant more than what you did to me
your words hurt me inside
like cold steel they cut the heart right outta me
maybe sometime I will find that love right here
it should be inside not outside of me
but I feel like i am shut in and maybe
someplace soon I will find myself inside of me
something inside of me wants to be free
maybe it is when I cast you aside from me
I want the best to be what is inside of me
someplace, someway I will find it all
it is a part of me
something inside of me
was you, but no more a part of me
even if you leave a part inside of me
and i hope I leave a part inside of you...
I love you cos
Loved one
I love you and you should know it
I love you and you should feel it
I love you and you should sense it
I love you and you should keep it
I love you and you should weep too
I love you and I weep for you
I love you and know you
I love you and am moved by you
I love you and it is all that
I love you and am all cos of you
I love you and want you
I love you and need you
I love you and do for you
I love you and you are ALL for me
I love you and will for you
I love you and no-one else will do
I love you - JUST....
friends and lovers
Meantime here is one for Friends and Lovers:
You are my friend and you are my lover,
but for you there is no other
tenderness is easy to feel
when you look at me, i am real
when you are away, the light is gone
I cry in my pillow until morn
You are my friend and you are my lover,
but for you there is no other.
Take away the daffodil
without you I have no will
to see, to smell or to eat
my life is shattered in bits
You are my friend and you are my lover,
but for you there is no other.
I want to hold your hand forever
I want to be tied by loves tether
I dont know about spiritual love
that may only be for angels above
You are my friend and you are my lover,
but for you there is no other.
magical love
Loves magic
Magical love is always easiest to feel
when it deepens it feels harder to keep
I hear music that feels magical
when your love for me is so deep
I smell your skin and know its scent
I wish all words were meant
for me alone but I somehow sense
that when we are apart you find another
and that that I fade into your memory
I want always to be fresh in your mind
For even when it is magical and sublime
I know that for us to feel real
you have to want more than you do
and in your eyes there is more to you
than even your words can share with me
Magical love is always easiest to feel
when it deepens it feels harder to keep.
distance
Distance
I'll do whatever it takes to close the distance
whatever it takes I'll do
I'll take whatever measure to be with you
being with you is all
I want to be close to you, nothing else matters
nothing at all
being a part of your life is my goal
you are a part of my soul
I want to keep you always near
even if you are faraway
take me with you to your hideaway
I take you with me to my safeplace
I honour you with my confidence
you honour me with your trust
I want you to do whatever it takes
to close the distance and be with you
don't let me down, i hold my ground
waiting for you to make distance no object
Cos you know I'm waiting for you.
Don't let me down baby - sitting on the couch
Maybe even then the distance is so faraway
I put you first, you put me last
is that the way baby?
I try my best and sometimes it seems the rest
are more than me to you my love
But I'll do whatever it takes
to be with you
being with you is all
I want to do.
hints
HINTS
I drop hints all the time and hope you catch them
To remind you I am here for you
I want to make your skin feel awake
by tapping softly on your shoulder gently
as I drop hints to catch your breath when I am near
I drop hints all the time and hope you catch them
To remind you we are together
I want to make your eyes smile wide open
by tapping your lips with soft kisses
as I drop hints like raindrops my tears on you.
hurting
You are tight again
You are tight again
the drinkin' never stops
when will you learn
that it hurts us
you are tight again
the boozin never ends
when you learn that
you hurt you
I am trying again
your drinking never stops
when will I learn
that is hurts
I am trying again
each time, it never ends
when will I learn that
I hurt again
believing
I thought you were loyal to me and true to me
I just dont know but never guessed it wasnt so
I wanted that you to have been the one for me
but i suppose you never felt the same way
I wanted you to be always by my side
it never occured to you to think the same
I kept putting you first beyond everyone else
we were so special in my mind but not yours
When you finally revealed your true self
I was already searching rainbows for signs
but all I saw were colours that never melted
you saw nothing in US, and threw me away
Why did you say those words to hurt me
all I wanted was to be closer to you
I really believed in you, and your dreams
you shattered mine with a gimpse into yours.
You never felt more than lust,
you never felt more than that
I always felt more than lust
I never felt only that
never
You would never be strong enough
You never tried to be loyal to me
I always held your heart close
I never felt we were apart
You could always have reached out
you never thought to hold me
I always tried to close the gap
I never felt you pull away
You will always leave me as now
you never try to do more
I always reach out to you
I never reach you at all.
knot
A knot held us
I try to untie it
when I do I cry
nothing saves me
no-one knows
I hurt, and hurt
when I push
you push away
when I pull
you pull away
A knot held us
A knot held us
I try to untie it
when I do I cry
nothing saves me
no-one knows
I hurt, and hurt
when I push
you push away
when I pull
you pull away
A knot held u
A knot held us
I try to untie it
when I do I cry
nothing saves me
no-one knows
I hurt, and hurt
when I push
you push away
when I pull
you pull away
A knot held us
I try to untie it
when I do I cry.
s
I try to untie it
when I do I cry.
it
when I do I cry.
reject
You told me you wanted me to have someone else
it was your way to release us
you told me you wanted me to be with someone else
it was your way to tell me you were free
you told me to go enjoy it and do it, anyway
because you were and did and now I know
you said you wanted to find the real thing
but that was me, but not for you
whatever 'real', you will find it for sure
but by then I will be outta the door
you wanted it all and a little more
I wanted less than I asked of you
I will find someone else who wants me alone
I will know him and he will know me
it will be more than you and have now
it may not be what I wanted with you
but I will have the peace I dont have now
when you told me you wanted to be free
you only put yourself in a safe and lost the key
I cant find a way into your heart
it seems so obscure to me
Somehow I will find a way to be free
and it wont be because of you
but despite you, and inspite of you.
You will be as you are now
I will be someone elses
I wont say it serves you right
because it isnt your fault you see
I just wasnt the one and
I couldnt tell at the time
perhaps because I was in love
and you were not, and will never be.
mirrors
Mirrors
Mirrors were always on the wall
but I avoided my eyes in each
our lasting love was my goal
a journey that would teach
but i never planned for
you turning your back
the shutting of the iron door
wondering what I lack
Mirrors that held you and I
when you seemed to care
my eyes seem to lie
pretending you are there
Images seem to overtake
any I might had had
I would try for your sake
to overcome the bad
But mirrors wont let me
where can I hide my pain
But for now, I feel none
may see me smile again
Thrown away
You threw us away
Come and walk outside with me
and whenyou do think of what happened
did you for a moment wonder if I hurt?
the fields were wet and the grassy dew
left my socks cold and sodden
but did I care that I forgot my shoes?
come and walk ourside with me
all is quiet in the small woody place
that I always remember thinking
how we would be together
flowers that trembled
I tremble now, that you know
that I am hurting and will
very soon walk away too
months of trying
Months of trying
For months I tried to find ways to bring us closer and closer
but for months you seem to have ways and escape closeness
silence that I cannot fathom
when you threw down your coat, and pretended to smile
I knew then that you were lying to me still
privacy that I cannot fathom
you always had her to run to, and leave me alone to want you
you never thought how you were treating me as being cruel
loneliness that I cannot fathom
Months of trying and look where we are still...
nowhere near
Today I found a post it
it said just the words
'see you later'
I held it for ages
it meant so much
so you will?
that would be neat.
I love those post its
they always lift me
sweet words from you
showing me you care
sometimes short
sometimes long
i save each one
in a biscuit tin
here they are
so many to count
post its from you
thankyou for each
disappearing
The earth is soft under my naked feet
Spring reminds me of my life in colour
Striving for the cool breeze to wake you
And watching your eyelashes flicker
I laugh when you talk in your sleep
And now your eyes open and warm me
My lips yearn for your lips
I want to touch you, and I do
"Oh give me a kiss", I ask softly
When you do, I know it is true
What they say about being in love.
You nestle your head in my bosom
I pull you closer still and you want to
Then you tell me all over again
What makes you want me so much
I sigh, and no longer wonder why
My world is a happier place
I listen to the birds and it seems
That all their songs are just for me
I watch a cat walk along a wall
You watch me staring out at it
As you play with my hair,
I ask about 'her', and you reply,
'Only you, always only you'.
I know you lie but I am forgiving
Until, I can find my own way too
Your drowsy face seems unfamiliar
I can see that you are disappearing
As each day you turn more to her
I know it wont be long now,
It will all be over very soon
Until it is I will keep hoping
That Spring doesn't remind me
Of you sleeping in my arms.
chewing cud
You chewed the cud, and stared at my face
i pulled you close and lifted your chin
kisses warm, wet and deep.
You leant over the side of a steep cliff
i touched your arm, you stared to sea
I want to hear your dreams.
You throw a stone into the greenblue sea
i take a shell and carry it safely home
hand in hand we know love.
No plans
Waiting
You keep me waiting always waiting
Sometimes it makes me cry
I make the plans you rarely do
I hold my knees close to my chest
As swallows fly away and I watch,
I try to close my eyes and imagine.
I am thinking even they have plans.
I feel I have no right to expect.
If you would just once say lets go,
Even a soldiar is less loyal and true.
I would follow you to the earth's end
Even into quicksand and dense fog
If you would just say once take me
I hide my tears from your eyes
I would be wherever the road takes us,
But you are lettingn the years pass by
I see your face in sunlights and shadow
but it is always the same, no plans.
no secrets
One kiss doesnt make summer
if I can wait than luck may open doors
your things seem to take up my space
don't close a door you cannot open
if you are brave you win my respect
I keep the friends who pay their debts
webs that keep us caught in them
being rich shows all our vices
being poor may hide them
You are always unhappy
so you will never feel satisfied
I am naturally just being me
whereas you are not.
There should be no secrets
not between us - none at all
but you are never near me
I feel so far away beside you
there should be no secrets
not between us - none at all
but you take your time
to answer and even then
it feels like nothing was said
there should be no secrets
not between us - none at all
but you will never come here
as an equal it will always be
you and I out of balance
There should be no secrets
not between us - none at all
as if time stands still forever
but everything does end
Still...
There should be no secrets
not between us - none at all
ALL I could be
Posted:
You never felt enough towards me
i felt too much
you always said I wasn't enough
I felt it too
why couldn't I have been ALL?
I tried to be
why didn't you try to find US?
I was lost to you
Even in the few dreams you had
of us I was weak
So you threw us away for her
and didnt care
nothing seems to work for US
should we part?
If only you could have felt more
we could last.
Aaah the possibilties of a new lover
someone to be closer to than any other
I can only wish and hope he feels the same
it is always the way I want to gain
little by little steps in the right direction
see what happens a new occasion
what I want is for him to want me
like I feel sometimes deeply
I think of him all the time
does he wonder too - can he be mine?
I want to kiss him deep as an ocean
feel him, pull out all kinds of emotion
climb onto him and be tender
enjoy him for all his pleasure
aaah the possibilities of a new lover
someone to be closer to than any other.
.
bubbles
Bubbles and dreams
Posted:
Tepid water clings to my skin
I feel the way I cling to you
Kisses are warmer
Hug me and get to know me
want me and get to need me
I see the soapy bubbles
surrounding me, wishing
If you could be there instead.
Take the flannel, wipe my face,
squeeze out the water, I smile.
I want you but you want her.
So why are we together?
This is the way of triangles.
I see the soap bubbles float,
Some will float high,
I wish I could float to you.
Will you stay with her tonight,
I wait for your call, nervously,
Why cant you love me passionately
It is always ending the same,
She is sinking in your eyes.
I see the soap bubbles burst,
my dreams seem to be tearful,
inner demons
I hugged my inner demon
Hugging my demon
I hugged my inner demon
I chose not to despair
I hugged my inner demon
It was always alone in there
I hugged my inner demon
Though it never smiled kindly on me
I hugged my inner demon
I felt its anger and misery
I hugged my inner demon
Knowing it needed tender care
I hugged my inner demon
Although its pain I could not bear
I hugged my inner demon
I knew somehow it would hide
I hugged my inner demon
I tried to seek it inside
I hugged my inner demon
Sometimes it was in silence
I hugged my inner demon
I could not make any sense
I hugged my inner demon
Truth and experience were lost to me
I hugged my inner demon
I could find no peace or clarity
I hugged my inner demon
I hugged my inner demon
Wishing someone else would share
I hugged my inner demon
The pain would rip and tear
I hugged my inner demon
Always wishing for something more
I hugged my inner demon
Never knowing its depth for sure
I hugged my inner demon
In nightmares and in daylight
I hugged my inner demon
Wishing it would leave my sight
I hugged my inner demon
Pretending we were friends
I hugged my inner demon
Praying to find an end.
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