piano plays

I watched a man play a music scale
the piano was off key
he seemed to be alone inside
I watched his eyes glance over it,
he looked up at me and we smiled.
I pushed my plate away and frowned.
Why did yu decide today to leave me.
I watched the beautiful couple,
as they danced around together,
she glanced over to me and smiled.
I envied their mutual love.
Can I ever find the same myself.
When it was there, i threw it away.
I don't blame you for not wanting me.
I find the words seem to hurt me,
words that find their voice inside.
Remember that restaurant we went to,
and you tipped so generously,
I held your hand really tightly,
you kissed my forehead softly.
I looked into your eyes and laughed.
Now here you are, not showing up.
I am looking nervously around,
others are looking back at me.
Will I think back to this evening,
and wonder how I could have survived?
I know it isn't going to be easy,
I tell myself I am better off now.
Why did it go wrong, I ask myself,
you didnt love me, I said aloud,
you never gave us a chance,
You quit somehow so quickly.
The music from the piano is bliss,
I want to laugh but instead I cry,
somewhere, you are with a new girl,
forgetting me and it hurts me,
knowing that we broke ups so painfully.
The pianist is leaving now,
he nods at me and smiles softly.
I want to leave with any stranger,
who might desire me as you did.
I hesitate, and choose loneliness.